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The Wildest Stories from Kingdom Come 2: Delivering Mayhem and Laughter

Authore: CamilaUpdate:Mar 16,2025

Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 isn't just another medieval RPG; it's a masterclass in unpredictable absurdity wrapped in brutal realism. Every session throws up unique, hilarious situations that defy expectation. Forget predictable quests; here are some of the wildest side adventures I've stumbled upon in Bohemia.

These tales are spoiler-free, focusing solely on the game's wonderfully quirky side quests that highlight its unpredictable charm.

Table of Contents

  • Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song
  • Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern
  • Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog
  • Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price
  • Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies
  • Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

Laboring for Troubadours, Only to Receive a Terrible Song

Nestled in the heart of the map lies Želejov, a town boasting a bathhouse, a fistfight arena, and a tavern populated by two incredibly lazy troubadours. Their dream? To conquer Bohemia with their "epic" songs. Their reality? A severe lack of funds, instruments, and any discernible artistic direction. Should they sing of noble ideals or beautiful women? The world may never know.

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Henry, ever the helpful soul (or perhaps just a sucker for a good (bad) song), embarks on a quest to help these aspiring musicians. This involves stealing a lute (risking arrest and reputation damage), only to have its strings snapped by the musicians, who then demand new strings made from sheep intestines. The hurdles continue: once the strings are ready, the bards reveal a debt to the innkeeper, refusing to work it off, claiming it's beneath their genius to carry sacks. After countless errands across Bohemia, the troubadours finally have everything they need: instrument, freedom, and inspiration. Their reward? A soul-crushingly dull song celebrating Henry's mundane exploits of theft, sheep butchery, and bag-carrying. The locals cringe, Henry facepalms, and I? I laughed until my sides hurt.

Rescuing an Alcoholic Hunter... and Delivering Him Straight to the Tavern

Remember those lute strings? They require crafting by a local hunter, Vojtěch. The catch? Vojtěch is a drunkard who wandered into the woods, encountered wolves, and climbed a tree like a drunken monkey. The rescue involves getting him down (during which he falls and injures his leg), saving his horse from bandits, and generally nursing him back to health. The reward? A loyal ally who teaches survival skills. But what if you decide to honor his wishes and deliver him directly to the nearest tavern?

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That's exactly what I did, lugging Vojtěch through forests and swamps. His gratitude? None. He was less than thrilled, unleashing a torrent of complaints about my incompetence. Our next encounter? He offered me a view of his shack as compensation. "It's the best I can offer," he grumbled.

Confronting the Polovtsians, Only to Philosophize with a Dog

In Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2, the Polovtsians are the villains responsible for Henry's family's tragedy. Finding them causing trouble in a tavern ignited my righteous fury. I marched to their camp, ready for vengeance. Instead, I found friendly fellows eager to socialize. Before I knew it, I was matchmaking, drinking, and singing bizarre songs with them.

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Then, a talking dog interrupted. He lectured me on life's purpose, challenging me to greatness. Inspired (or perhaps intoxicated), I accepted his dare to swim across a lake. I survived (barely), laughing uncontrollably the entire time.

Going Rogue as a Thief and Paying the Price

By hour 30, I was a master thief. By hour 31, Bohemia's most wanted. How? A botched heist. I infiltrated a guard barracks, looted armor, and was almost caught. I talked my way out, only to realize too late I hadn't removed my flashy accessories or washed the stench of my crimes off my clothes. The theft wasn't what gave me away; it was the evidence.

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The attention to detail is astounding.

Selling a Stolen Horse and Meeting Gypsies

One night, I stole a horse and attempted to sell it to Mikolaj, a gypsy horse trader. Mikolaj was asleep, the horse bolted, and I waited until dawn. Mikolaj then spent ten minutes eating porridge before finally buying the horse. Even minor escapades become hilarious misadventures.

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Why Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 Stands Out

These are just glimpses into what makes Kingdom Come: Deliverance 2 so unique. Every decision, no matter how small, has consequences. From rescuing drunkards to philosophizing with dogs, the game is endlessly entertaining. The realism and immersion ensure every playthrough is a unique adventure. Bohemia awaits!

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